The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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