i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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