It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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