at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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