She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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