ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
