im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
