i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
