a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You are the jesus of drinking
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