What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
