and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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