I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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