I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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