There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
