Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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