I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
