you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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