i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
