Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
