Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
accomplished twins. life is a go
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
