Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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