if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
