She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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