I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
