I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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