Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
