I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
