It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
