Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
