Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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