I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
