Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
