We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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