That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
