He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
That's intense
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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