I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
