North Korea, Best Korea!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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