It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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