if i can run in heels then i can drive
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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