Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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