I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
