Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
