we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
