So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
