you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
