I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
