She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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