it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
