seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
