if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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