FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
