So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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