okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
