he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize