why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just made my gag reflex go away.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
