I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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