its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Will exercising make me less horny?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
