someone threw a dead crab at me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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